


The Great Theatre Of The Epic Love Story Of Sam & Dean Winchester.

by Likiel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Embedded Video, Episode Related, Fanvids, Gen, Gen Fic, Het and Slash, M/M, Multi, Other, Season 7 Spoilers, Spoilers, Video, Wincest - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-11-01
Updated: 2012-01-25
Packaged: 2017-10-25 14:39:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 10,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/271393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Likiel/pseuds/Likiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is about Dean & Sam Winchester, among of others things. This is about their Epic Love Story, no matter what you implying about it. This is about the tip of their fingers and the bottom of their hearts. That's it. That's just... it.</p><p>Chapter 16: "If we are not our brother’s keeper, at least let us not be his executioner.” Marlon Brando.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. All the people that I know have gained the world and lost their souls.

**The Key Word:** Dean.

****The Quote:** “All the people that I know have gained the world then lost their souls.” Dean Winchester.**

****The Video:** **

 

  
**The Meaning:** I think everyone and everything about Dean's life have been a double edge: gain and lose. He tried to gain his father's approval and at the end, he lost the respect and faith he had on the man. He gained his brother's presence with him but he lost the trust he had in him when Sam choose Ruby. He gained Cassie's apologies when she realized he wasn't crazy but he lost her anyway to the hunting life. He gained Castiel's friendship and support but he lost all of it when he wasn't enough anymore for Castiel's war against Raphael. And I can go on and on and on...  
I know they’re a lot of people who aren't happy about the fact that Dean lied to Sam, but I really think it's not even a matter of trust anymore. Dean always expecting the other shoe to drop, as he put it... he killed Amy because he knew that when you gained the world, you gotta do everything you can, no matter how low you sink, to keep it. you gotta lost your soul. All his life was full of that motto. Well, Amy's world was her son, she would have kill again for him.

But Dean's world is Sam... so he did what he had to do to keep it safe.

This video is dedicated to Char&Brie. Likiel and I read so many of their fic, Their are incredible. We really wanted to let them know that.

Link to the topic: [all-spn.livejournal.com/1134724.html?view=6718852#t6718852](http://all-spn.livejournal.com/1134724.html?view=6718852#t6718852)  
Link to likiel LJ: [likiel.livejournal.com/ ](http://likiel.livejournal.com/)  
You can find it on Youtube

**Lyrics:**  
  
I heard I lost it  
On the grapevine  
I must admit  
I had a great time  
There are words for people like me  
But I don't think there's very many

I've gained the world then lost my soul  
Maybe it's cause I'm getting old  
All the people that I know  
Have gained the world then lost their souls

There's no persuasion that I'm into  
I've made some sense o f what we've been through  
We should form a new foundation  
If we could find the right location

Is it prey  
On display  
I'm feeling weak

I've gained the world then lost my soul  
Maybe it's cause I'm getting old  
All the people that I know  
Have gained the world then lost their souls  
I've gained the world then lost my soul  
Maybe it's cause I'm getting old  
All the people that I know  
Have gained the world then lost their souls


	2. This State of Emergency

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "- You can even look at me, can you? Am I disgusting you? Because I don't have a soul? Sam asked with a blank voice.  
> \- No. I can't look at you because everytime I do... you push me of this... state of emergency... towards emotional landscapes... and I don't want to feel this way. I don't want to feel what should belongs to you Sam."  
> Sam & Dean Winchester.

**The Key Word:** Emotional.

**The Quote: “- You can even look at me, can you? Am I disgusting you? Because I don't have a soul? Sam asked with a blank voice.**  
\- No. I can't look at you because everytime I do... you push me of this... state of emergency... towards emotional landscapes... and I don't want to feel this way. I don't want to feel what should belongs to you Sam."  
Sam  & Dean Winchester. ****

**The Video:**

****

**The meaning:** This Video is all about Irony. I pick this song because it's one of the most soulful song I ever heard, how bitter, really, when it featuring Soulless!Sam in this. I know that it’s easy to think that Soulless!Sam  & Dean didn’t have anything between them. No love, no trust, no relationship whatsovever. But you _can_ see the evolution of something during the first eleven episodes of SPN season six. Something between the two brothers changes. I tried to show that. It lingers in touches, that Sam takes or not, that Dean gives or not. It lingers in the rage that Dean feel for Sam. It linger in the need to survive for Soulless!Sam. Somehow, they drift. Showing how Dean managed and cope to survive the lost of the soul hie’s supposly mate to, is the goal of this video.

The dialogues are extract from episode 11 season 6:

SAM: Playing pretty fast and loose with my life here, don't you think, Dean?  
DEAN: I'm trying to save your life!  
SAM: Exactly, Dean! It's my life! It's my life, it's my soul. And it sure as hell ain't your head that's gonna explode when this whole scheme of yours goes sideways! -----

SAM: I need to know if there's a spell or a weapon, anything that can keep a soul out -- forever. ------

SAM: Dean doesn't care about me. He cares about his little brother, Sammy, burning in hell. He'll kill me to get that other guy back.

**Lyrics:**  
all the accidents that happen  
follow the dot  
coinsidense makes sense  
only with you  
you don't have to speak  
i feel  
emotional landscapes  
they puzzle me

then the riddle gets solved and you push me up to this:

...state of emergency...  
...how beautiful to be!...  
...state of emergency...  
...is where i want to be...

all that no-one sees  
you see  
what's inside of me  
every nerve that hurts you heal  
deep inside of me  
you don't have to speak - i feel  
emotional landscapes  
they puzzle me  
confuse

then the riddle gets solved and you push me up to this:

...state of emergency...  
...how beautiful to be!...  
...state of emergency...  
...is where i want to be...

...state of emergency...

...state of emergency...


	3. Bet it sucks to see my face everywhere.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Does it hurt? To know I'll never be there? Bet it sucks... to see my face everywhere." Sam Winchester to Dean Winchester.

**The Key Word:** Betrayal.

**The Quote: "- Does he hurt? To know I’ll never be there? Bet it sucks… to see my face everywhere.” Sam said then let out a dark chuckle. Dean just drifted his gaze.” Sam & Dean Winchester.**

**The Video:**

****

**The Meaning:** I'm going be honest here: At the beginning, I liked Lisa, I mean, I've got nothing against the girl, she was sweet, smart, and devoted to Dean, and I thought he deserved someone like that. But I noticed that Sam and Lisa doesn't even seem to like each other, I mean, we all remember Cassie right? Remember, how Sam said straight to Dean that he liked her? He never said that about Lisa, He never even talks to her or to Ben, and quite frankly it's not like those two were excited to meet him.  
I mean the scene in Lisa's Kitchen when Sam walked in? (Even if it's soulless Sam) Awkward much? Sam is Dean's baby brother, partner, best-friend... he is Dean's family.  
So, the minute Lisa said those AWFUL words: "you two have the most unhealthy, tangled-up crazy thing I've ever seen, and as long as he is in your life you're never gonna be happy"?  
She totally lost my support and my respect. I mean, what the hell woman?

Here, It's Sam POV, The lyrics are Sam's thoughts about Dean living this apple pie life and leaving him behind. It's about how Dean seems to constantly returning to Lisa, but started to change when Sam died and came back. Then Dean is "through with her" but it doesn't make Sam feel better. It's about (for once it's not the other way around) Dean leaving Sam to go to Lisa&Ben and not having the courage to face him with his decision. It's about lies, jealousy, love, and giving up. Oh yeah, the angst...

  
**Lyrics:**  
I hope the ring you gave to her turns her finger green  
I hope when you're in bed with her  
You think of me  
I would never wish bad things but I don't wish you well  
Could you tell  
By the flames that burned your words

I never read your letter  
'Cause I knew what you'd say  
Give me that Sunday school answer  
Try to make it all okay

Does it hurt  
To know I'll never be there  
Bet it sucks  
To see my face everywhere  
It was you  
Who chose to end it like you did  
I was the last to know  
You knew  
Exactly what you would do  
And don't say  
You simply lost your way  
She may believe you  
But I never will  
Never again

If she really knows the truth she deserves you  
A trophy wife oh, how cute  
Ignorance is bliss  
But when your day comes and he's through with you  
And he'll be through with you  
You'll die together but alone

You wrote me in a letter  
You couldn't say it right to my face  
Give me that Sunday school answer  
Repent yourself away

Does it hurt  
To know I'll never be there  
Bet it sucks  
To see my face everywhere  
It was you  
Who chose to end it like you did  
I was the last to know  
You knew  
Exactly what you would do  
And don't say  
You simply lost your way  
They may believe you  
But I never will  
Never again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This video was posted by us a while ago on Youtube and we just remastered it because people seems to really liked it, in a way of... hum... debating about the whole... Lisa's... thing.  
> Hope you enjoyed.
> 
> Link YT: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9_pFqVhf5NI&feature=feedu


	4. Shouda Coulda Woulda said it back to you?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean looked at his brother, startled and said with a hint of incredulity: - You're supposed to know it. You're supposed to feel it, Sam.  
> \- You should have said it back to me, Dean. Fuck, you would have if...started Sam with a tortured voice  
> \- No, Dean cut him coldly, I wouldn't have. I couldn't.

**The Key Word:** Resentment.

**The Quote:  “Dean looked at his brother, startled and said with a hint of incredulity:**

**\- You're supposed to know it. You're supposed to feel it, Sam.**

**\- You should have said it back to me, Dean. Fuck, you would have if...started Sam with a tortured voice**

**\- No, Dean cut him coldly, I wouldn't have. I Couldn't.”**

**The Video:**

****

**The Meaning:**  This one is much darker than the previous. It's also my favorite, so far, and featured with one of my favorites songs, "Extreme behavior" by Hinder.

I tried to show the story of everything preventing the brothers to say the words that really matters. It could have been “I love you” (Only Sam said it on the show, and he was high) or It could have been “I forgive you”.  Rage, incomprehension, betrayal, even hatred... Sam and Dean went through so much in their relationship and tested it almost to the breaking line... but they still came back to the other. This video is violent and dark and display a side of the brothers that those two conveniently like to ignore.

Of course, they love each other. They proved it by sacrificed themselves over and over. But they never said what could have a built something solid between. They always said the words that served to tear them apart. When the lyrics said "When you said those three words I kind of freaked out" its Sam POV about Dean saying to him "you're a monster". And when the lyrics said "When you said them first my jaw hit the ground" It's Dean POV when Sam said "I'm sorry." in church during Lucifer's rising.

You can battle, save your brother’s life, set a goal and work towards it. You can live with someone all your life, make love to him, and make him cry, laugh and everything. But you will never reach him if you don’t use your words. Everyone needs to hear it, once in his life. It might be the most important thing that someone can say.

This is what “Shoulda, coulda, woulda” is about.

**Lyrics:**

Before I hung up the phone all I could hear

Was the dial tone ring in my ear

If I could go back in time

I'd say those three words

I shoulda woulda coulda said it back to you

And this can't be saved if you can't be found

You hung up and left me for dead on the ground

You didn't even say goodbye

I shoulda woulda coulda said it back to you

I shoulda woulda coulda said it back to you

 

Now that you're gone I'm wasting away

The life has been siphoned right out of my veins

If I could go back in time

I'd say those three words

I shoulda woulda coulda said it back to you

And this can't be saved if you can't be found

You hung up and left me for dead on the ground

You didn't even say goodbye

I shoulda woulda coulda said it back to you

I shoulda woulda coulda said it back to you

 

When you said those three words

I kinda freaked out

When you said them first my jaw hit the ground

I shoulda woulda coulda said it back to you

And this can't be saved if you can't be found

You hung up and left me for dead on the ground

You didn't even say goodbye

And this can't be saved

And this can't be saved

If you can't be found

If you can't be found

I shoulda woulda coulda said it back to you

I shoulda woulda coulda said it back to you

 

Kiss!

 

Lika.


	5. I'm not a machine.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> « Sam was crying silently, the heaviness of his guilt seemed to swallow him completely. Dean had stop the Impala ten minutes ago and was now, outside, standing in the cold night, roaring his rage and his hatred to the sky, hoping that God was listening."

**The Key Word:**  Human.

 

**The Quote: « Sam was crying silently, the heaviness of his guilt seemed to swallow him completely. Dean had stop the Impala ten minutes ago and was now, outside, standing in the cold night, roaring his rage and his hatred to the sky, hoping that God was listening:**

**\- We're humans! We aren't shaped to do your damn job, screw the apocalypse, screw Lucifer and the angels! We don't want it! Any of it! We’re done! We won't die for you! We are not machines!"**

**The Video:**

**The Meaning:**  

"I'm not a machine" is about both Winchester. It's about the fact that everyone, and I mean, every single one seems to considered them like damn machine, no need to rest, no need to breath, just fighting the evils sons of bitches, just suffering, just losing their hopes, their humanity and worse, each other. The video got two parts: first it’s Dean’s POV.  There are so many scenes to show how much he went through and how much he was forced to keep going that I have trouble to decided which moment to pick. Hell is what broke and changed him. Sam’s betrayal is what destroyed him. Castiel is what forced him to keep fighting. Brother, friend, son, soldier, victim… Dean wanted to be a hero when he was a teenager, and Hero equal Hunter. That clearly changed. He’s a hunter alright, but it’s more is identity. Now all he’s trying to be, all he’s trying to _stay_ is human.

The second part is about Sam. I’m never going to grow tired to feature Soulless!Sam because I think that, aside from his time in the cage, the time Sam spent Soulless was the most meaning part of his life. The song take a different turn for him, because, for all instances and purposes, Soulless!Sam is a machine. No feelings, no emotions, no weakness. I believe that being this, living with such emptiness have changed Sam, like hell changed him. It forced him to reconsider his instincts, to listen to his soul before he act. That could explain why he couldn’t kill Amy.

This video showed Bobby and Castiel as two of those people who, yeah, helped and protected the boys, but also pushed them far beyond what they can take. But as I said it, everyone did it, beginning with John Winchester.

 

**Lyrics:**

I'm not a machine

Looking around, everything I see  
It seems to lose its color  
Don't know what's become of me  
Barely alive, how did I survive  
One day just like the other  
I'm sick of this routine

So I'm gonna cut these strings  
Cut them and set me free  
Nothing controlling me

I'm not a machine, I'm not a machine  
I've got the breath in me  
I'm not a machine, I'm not a machine  
I'm not a machine, I'm not a machine

My body is here but somewhere along the way  
I lost my mind  
It's never too late to be found  
Waiting on someone to pick me up  
But I got left behind  
But it won't bring me down

Cause I'm gonna cut these strings  
Cut them and set me free  
Nothing controlling me

I'm not a machine, I'm not a machine  
I've got the breath in me  
I'm not a machine, I'm not a machine  
I'm not a machine, I'm not a machine

Change the circumstance  
It's gonna take me  
Here is my memory  
Reset the way you think  
No more commands  
Mo demands  
No more losing control  
No pushing buttons  
No automatic no more  
Let me go  
Let me go  
Let me go  
No pushing buttons, no automatic

I'm not a machine, I'm not a machine  
I've got the breath in me  
I'm not a machine, I'm not a machine


	6. The wiser of what I've become.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I've never been the wiser of what I've become, Dean... but I always knew I couldn't face the dark without you" Sam Winchester.

**The Key Word:**   Sam.

**The Quote:  “ _You told me to believe you, to build on it. You told me you’ll be there all the way long. Lucifer spent a century making me believe that you couldn’t trust a freak like me… let alone love me. I know I’m not the same. I’ve been tortured, I’ve been tainted, and I’ve been soulless.  Some of it was my fault, the rest was definitely not. But it was never on you. I want to forgive Castiel for breaking it. I’m trying. But it’s hard. There are things that Lucifer did to me that I wish I never remember. I love you Dean. I lost myself too much and I never been the wiser of what I’ve become, but I always knew I couldn’t face the dark without you._**

**Dean dropped Sam’s letter on the sheets covered of his brother’s blood and screamed.”**

**The Video:**

****

****

**The Meaning:**  

As you can guess by the quote, this is about an alternative way for Sam to deal with Lucifer’s show in his head. Suicidal thoughts are not new for any of the brothers. But the fact that Lucifer, who’s still a representation of Sam’s subconscious, hinted the need to end it all is enough for me to think that the youngest Winchester was at a breaking point. So, why he is still standing and talking? Answer: Dean. We all know that Dean would gladly take Sam's hell on him if he could, and I wanted to make an ovation for that. During seven seasons, Sam is the character that changed the most and yet managed to stay the same. We had psychic!Sam who let his powers destroyed him, blood-sucker!Sam who dominated them and started the apocalypse, soulless!Sam  who was the animal version of him and finally, hell!Sam whose been tortured and broke in ways he can’t even described to his brother. That when their codependency is a problem, because one wrong move of Dean, like killing Amy and Lying to Sam, just confirm what Lucifer keep whispering into Sam’s ear. Dean doesn’t trust Sam and he will never do. Even if he’s all Sam have to anchor himself to sanity.

This Video is also featuring the way Sam wanted to help and probably forgive Castiel for what he did to him, even when did refused to “wasted his time on him”.

**Lyrics:**

Search for the answers I knew all along  
I lost myself, we all fall down  
Never the wiser of what I've become  
Alone I stand a broken man

All I have is one last chance  
I won't turn my back on you  
Take my hand, drag me down  
If you fall then I will too  
And I can't save what's left of you

[Chorus:]  
Sing something new  
I have nothing left  
I can't face the dark without you  
There's nothing left to lose  
The fight never ends  
I can't face the dark without you  
I wanted to forgive  
I'm trying to forgive  
Don’t leave me here again  
I'm with you forever, the end.


	7. You never really can fix a heart.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm running out of band-aids, Sammy" Dean's voice was a soft and sad.

**The Key Word:**  Band-Aids

**The Quote:  “Dean turned around and pinned Sam with a steady and somewhat scary stare.**

**\- Did you do that weird thing with your hand again, Sam?**

**\- ... No.**

**The older man snorted.**

**\- Give me your hand.**

**With a sigh, Sam obeyed. Dean took it gently and let his thumb caressed the mutilated flesh during a minute. Finally, he leveled his gaze to his brother’s and murmured:**

**\- I'm running out of Band-Aids, Sammy.**

**His voice was a soft and sad.** "

**The Video: _Password:_ impala **

****

****

**The Meaning:**  

I used a lot a season four and seven scenes and sometimes I even made parallels. During those weeks, I read a lot of comments about what happened between the two brothers through the whole Amy’s’ plot. Some of those comments where incredibly hateful about Sam or about Dean. I read stuff like “Sam is an ungrateful bastard who fucked a demon and started the apocalypse and Dean should have let him die instead of letting him bitch about his dead-murderer childhood friend” or “Dean should be kissing Sam’s ass and be grateful that Sam still talk to him and work this case with him after what he did. He’s just a stupid asshole, and Sam should leave him for good.” I read that. To tell you that I was appalled by how the authors of those comments doesn’t understand the first thing about the show and a sibling relationship, would be sweet understatement. To tell that I was shocked and disgusted would be the truth.

Everytime Sam messed up, some of the fans take a great pleasure to remind everyone about the whole Ruby thing. No seems to take in consideration that the characters are changing in space and time, and that “Ruby”, during season seven was almost three years ago. Dean forgave his little brother a long time ago (go watch the last scene of 6.16), and I think that sacrificed himself to century of torture and worse under the Devil’s hands is enough of an apology. Sam paid his dues and dearly. He will suffer, maybe forever, because the remains of his memories from the cage.

As for Dean… I read a lot of awful things about him, especially after the Amy Pond’s mess. I already made my opinion clear about his decision: Yes, he had to kill Amy, she was going to kill again for her son. She did it once and to save him? She would have done it twice. Dean saved a father, a mother, a boyfriend or a fiancée by doing this. Nothing, absolutely nothing justified taking the life of an innocent. He’s an hunter. What else is new? So yes, he did what he had to do and no, he didn’t enjoy it. Where I think he was wrong? Lying to Sam about it. I realized that Dean is clearly holding out on his trust towards his brother because of what happened with Castiel and not because of Sam. It’s more Dean’s issue than anything else, and we can’t really blame him for having a hard time to trust when he’s been so deeply betrayed. Contrary as what I read, Dean has no reason, none whatsoever to be grateful that Sam is still around. I’m sorry people, but do you not understand the concept of sibling? Yes, they can be really pissed at each other and wanting to strangle the other, but their family. There are not about to let the other die simply because they are pissed or hurt. The people who think that Dean should have let Sam die and take another partner, or that Sam should abandon Dean for good, must really take in consideration Sam’s beautiful capacity to forgive and Dean’s amazing devotion to his brother. And if they don’t get it, they just have to stop watching the show.

Sam had every right to be pissed, it’s not because he made a mistake in the past that Dean get a free pass to lie to him. And Dean had the right to be pissed too because he did what he think he had to do and he was trying to show that to Sam without him being so stubborn about avoiding to talk to his brother.

That’s the reason I made this video. I hope that, through the lyrics and the images, you get the message: The Winchesters are just men and they survived hell and heaven. They are humans, so they didn’t make it uninjured and clean. Hallucinations, alcohol, hard feelings, guilt… so many reasons to sport a broken heart. But they still have each other, and it looks like they want this to stay the way it is, so they forgive each other. And move on.  Maybe it’s not enough to mend a broken heart, but it enough to appease it.

**Lyrics:**

It's probably what's best for you  
I only want the best for you  
And if I'm not the best,  
Then you're stuck

I try to severities and I,  
Ended up with wounds to bind  
Like you're pouring salt in my cuts

And I just ran out of band-aids  
I don't even know where to start  
'Cause you can't bandage the damage,  
You never really can fix a heart  
Even though I know what's wrong,  
How can I be so sure  
If you never say what you feel, feel  
I must have held your hand so tight,  
You didn't have the will to fight  
I guess you needed more time to heal

Baby I just ran out of band-aids  
I don't even know where to start  
'Cause you can't bandage the damage  
You never really can fix a heart

You must be a miracle,  
Walk up, swearin' up and down,  
You can't fix whats been broken, yeah,  
Please don't give my hopes up, no no  
Baby, tell me how could you,  
Be so cruel

It's like you're pouring salt on my cuts

  
Baby, I just ran out of band-aids  
I don't even know where to start  
'Cause you can't bandage the damage  
You never really can fix a heart

Baby, I just ran out of band-aids  
I don't even know where to start  
'Cause you can't bandage the damage  
You never really can fix a heart  
Oh no no no  
You never really can fix a heart  
Oh no no no  
You never really can fix heart...

You never really can fix my heart ****


	8. I let go with a stranger just see if I still feel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam was throwing at him his famous glare and his cheeks were strangely red. Dean sighs and then smirks because he just couldn't let an opportunity like this go.

**The Key Word:**   Stranger

**The Quote:  “** Sam was throwing at him his famous glare and his cheeks were strangely red. Dean sighs and then smirks because he just couldn't let an opportunity like this go.

\- Ditch the Bitch face, Sammy. It's just sex.  
\- You're an asshole! Did you have to do this with her? She has a boyfriend, Dean!  
\- Really? Must have skipped her mind, then. But s'not her fault, I do have this kind of power on women.  
\- You... I can't believe you!  
\- Oh come on! You act like I was cheating on you! Dean said and then snickered when Sam's glare morphed to a horrified expression.  
\- You did it in MY BED!  
\- Pay back is a bitch, Sammy." ****

**The Video:**

****

****

**The Meaning:**  

I’m not gonna lie, I took a great pleasure doing this! It’s when you try to regroup all the moment the Winchesters had intercourse with the opposite sex, that’s you realize they kind of men-whore! *incontrollable laughs*. Well, mostly Dean, or the Dean before Sam’s (second) death. Soulless!Sam is just a sex machine. So! This video is featured with another song of Marié Digby, singer of my heart. For those who are familiar with my works, it’s not the first time I use one of her song, but this one is more… sensual than the other.

The plot is simple, just go with the lyrics. I tried to show that Sam and Dean spent the most of their… erm… respective love life by letting “go with a stranger just to see if they still feel” That particularly true after the deal, and their death.  

I made a little interlude at 01:15 with the intro of the acoustic version of this song. The interlude is about the only “true” love they had, the one with each other. I made this with Likaella my BBF and for me It’s supposed to be Gen id Brotherly love. For her, it’s an AU!Wincest. *sigh*

Even if the theme of this video is more lighter than my previous works, I still invite you to think about how much it’s sad that Dean & Sam can’t seem to find happiness in the arms of women. Only relief. I know that fans don’t want them to settle down and have a family, if it’s not the both of them, and I know that many didn’t like Lisa (with good reasons) or Cassie (I LOVE Cassie) or Jess (I don’t get why!) or Ruby (understandable). But here the question: What do you want for the brothers? **An happy ending**  with the wives, the kids, the white picket fence and the dog, or **an Epic ending** with Metallica on background, the Impala  driving straight off the cliff and Sam  & Dean dying like the kid and Cassidy?

**Lyrics:**

You closed the door, made your way to me slowly  
Lay down next to me, trace the outlines of our fate  
This wasn't a part of the plan, I was just on my way  
But you make me comfortable

This is love with a stranger  
Just the touch, it's enough  
I let go with a stranger just to see if I still feel

No questions, please don't ask, please don't worry about the past  
This is love with a stranger  
When I walk out the door you won't see me no more  
This is love with a stranger

This wasn't a part of the plan, I was just on my way  
But you make me comfortable

This is love with a stranger  
Just the touch, it's enough  
I let go with a stranger just to see if I still feel

No questions, please don't ask, please don't worry about the past  
This is love with a stranger  
When I walk out the door you won't see me no more  
This is love with a stranger

I barely even know your name  
Be easy, let's keep this simple  
Just enjoy the moment, baby  
Relax and just close your eyes

When you wake up in the morning light  
Don't act like you're surprised  
I'll disappear into the night, I'll vanish like a ghost

I let go with a stranger just to see if I still feel

This is, this is love, love with a stranger  
This is, this is love, love with a stranger  
This is, this is love, love with a stranger  
This is, this is love, love with a stranger


	9. You wonder why I carry such a weight on my shoulders

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean hated that his voice felt suddenly so weak, and hated even more to see the heartbreaking look Sam was sending him in response.

**The Key Word:** Soldier.

**Quote:**

“With a self-depreciating smile, Sam turned around and faced his brother, looking a little remorseful and a little sad.  
\- I never blamed you for what my life was, Dean. Never. When Jess died… I realized that no matter how far I could run away, no matter how much I wanted things different from the hunt… I could never escape it. Because it always gonna find me.  
Dean took his time to scrutinize his brother’s face and tried to interpret the deepness he finds on it. He swallowed and said with a careful voice.  
\- When we started hunting together again, you always acted like the job was on me. Like it was my burden to carry, a load that was only on my shoulders. I thought maybe you… resented me for coming to you in the first place.  
\- Never. Dean, you coming to Stanford have nothing to do with Jessica’s death. You get that right?  
\- Now yeah. But Sam… back then I didn’t.  
Dean hated that his voice felt suddenly so weak, and hated even more to see the heartbreaking look Sam was sending him in response.  
\- And I’ll always be sorry for that.  
\- Sometimes I have a hard time catching up with the man you’ve become.  
\- Who would that be?  
\- Someone who’s able to take the lead but who can also take orders. You never been good to the last part.  
\- That’s was before.  
\- What? The Apocalypse, the cage?  
\- Maybe all of it, but it feels like none of it too… I don’t know.  
They shared a thoughtful silence and finally Dean gathered the courage he needed to ask his question:  
\- If I hadn’t been so… bossy with you… if I hadn’t tried so hard to make you follow my lead and take my orders, like Dad always did with me… would you have run off to Ruby?  
Sam froze. Dean bit his lips and started thinking that he should have shut his mouth when his brother made his way towards him and engulfed him into a tight and somewhat desperate embrace.  
By reflex, the older man circled his arms around him and returned the hug.  
\- You don’t get to think that. Sam murmured at last.  
\- Think what? Dean replied with an even voice.  
\- That what I did with Ruby was somehow your fault. God, Dean… letting me growing up is also letting me take the load of my own screw-ups. And I have no one to blame but myself for what happened back then. You need to know that… this life? It was never your burden. It’s ours. But you always made sure I never carry something that could crush me. I love you so much for that.  
Dean buried his face in Sam’s neck and didn’t move for a very long time."

**The Video:**

 

 

**The Meaning:**

Okay. This is Sam’s POV and a direct result of the song “On my shoulders” by The Do. This video is trying to show one of Sam’s traits of character: his reluctance or inability to take orders, in others words, his disgust to just “sit and wait like a soldier”. The plot goes with the lyrics. But this video is incomplete without the drabble because I tried to show the evolution of that feeling. Back to season one, Sam was pissed at Dean for always following their father’s orders. The drabble takes place at after Sam’s get his soul back. In this video, Sam is wondering why he have to carry this weight on his shoulders, the weight being the hunt, this life, john’s death, Dean’s deal and even sometimes, Dean’s own burden.  
“Cause someday you’ll see, next time I’ll try it another way” when Sam tried to escape the pressure of being what John or sometimes Dean, or even Castiel ( the sentence _“Why would you try to make me friends with them soldiers ?”_ really fits) wanted him to be, his actions goes pretty messed-up like conveying with Ruby for starters. It gives all the meaning to the phrase _“You know that my heart is in a pretty disorder.”_  
Finally, This Video is here to show how much Sam’s keep carrying on his shoulders without breaking irreparably. Sam’s strong. And while I have no doubt that a large part of it is thanks to Dean, I also wanted to make a little tribute to a character I really grown to admire.

**Lyrics:**

Why would I carry such a weight on my shoulders ?  
Why do I always help you carry your boulders ?  
You wonder why I carry such a weight on my shoulders  
And why would I tttts such a load

Cos someday you'll see  
Next time I'll try it another way  
Why would you try to make me friends with them soldiers ?  
When you know that I've never been familiar with orders  
When you know that my heart is in a pretty disorder  
And you should know that in my heart you fill every corner

And someday you'll see that all I want is to please  
Next time I'll try it another way

How long will I sit and wait like a soldier  
How many summers will it take ?  
How many summers will I wait ?  
How many shoulders will I break ?


	10. You are my father.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean figured that whatever the woman had to say to Sam it wouldn’t take quite long. You don’t go debate with seven years old.

**The Key Word:** Father

 

**The Quote:**

**“Dean was waiting for Sam and he was starting to get worried. The ring had bell five minutes ago and all the kids were already out. Dean saw Sam’s teacher asking him to stay a little longer and scowled but otherwise he didn’t move to his post near the door’s hall. He figured that whatever the woman had to say to Sam it wouldn’t take quite long. You don’t go debate with seven years old.**  
But the conversation was going on and on and Dean was starting to get anxious. Dad made himself very clear when he told him to never being late after school and go straight to the motel. And those days, Dad didn’t have a hunt to be happy so he was more often home with them… and the booze.  
The eleven years old fidgeted and decided to go see what was going on with his baby brother and the teacher. He knew Sam wouldn’t be in trouble, he was too much of a good kid. Apparently, Sammy reserved his bitchness only for his big Brother. Dean smiled inwardly.  
He could hear the voices getting louder behind the door and his eyes widened. He knocked one time and without waiting he entered the room. Sam didn’t seem surprised at all by his arrival and even looked a little sorry knowing that Dean was probably worried.  
On the other hand, the teacher was wearing a scowl on her face that matched Dean’s.  
\- Excuse me miss, but Sammy and I need to go home. Our father is waiting for us.  
\- And you are?  
Deans’ eyebrows arched slightly. Didn’t he just mention their father to her?  
\- Dean. Sammy’s big brother.  
The “in case you didn’t get it” was very obvious in his tone but the teacher didn’t call him on it. Instead she turned an oddly satisfied look towards Sam, and Dean looked at him in time to catch the expression of pure anger that flashed through the kid’s face.  
Concern took over him.  
\- Is there a problem? He asked with more sharpness than he intended to.  
The woman seemed surprise by the question and even more by his tone. She eyed him with something in her eyes that unnerved Dean and opened her mouth to respond only to be cut by Sam.  
\- Everything’s fine Dean. Miss Mitchell just wanted to talk about the father’s day artwork we have to make.  
Dean barely refrained himself to roll his eyes. First, he could tell that everything wasn’t fine not only by the strain of Sam’s voice but by the rigid posture of his little body. And secondly, a father’s day artwork, really? What about the old good card deal? It’s not like their father was even keeping those things anyway.  
\- Yeah? He replied and moved to stand right besides Sam, eyes on the teacher, what about it? You having a hard time with yours?  
Sam snorted.  
\- Samuel, the woman started sharply.  
\- It’s Sam; Dean immediately cut her, abandoning all pretenses to be polite.  
The woman pursed her red lips and pinned Dean with a cold gaze.  
\- Sam refused to take the last theme of the father’s day artwork assignment, even if it means he can’t do the work like all his others friends.  
\- I told you my dad didn’t like poems, and since the artwork is supposed to be for him, I don’t see why I would trouble myself doing something we will both dislike. Besides, it’s my gift, why can’t I choose the theme? Snapped Sam petulantly.  
Dean put his hand on the back of Sam’s neck to silence him and indicated him he understood what’s was really going on.  
Last years, when the father’s day comes, Sam made a very beautiful card for their dad. It got colors and words of innocent love with glitter on them. Sam handled it to Dad with a sunny smile on his face and Dad responded with a smile on his own, a gentle pat on Sam’s head, a rather awkward hug and a promise to keep the card forever.  
Two days later, Dad spilled coffee on it and on the book he was reading, then, rant at Sam about letting his bag in the middle of the floor. Dad recognized the card, Dean knew he did, but he didn’t comment and hide his guilt by tossing it bluntly on the bag trash with this unfair comment:  
“It will teach you to take a better care of things”  
Sam didn’t say anything. Dean didn’t say anything. But they never forgot.  
Unfortunately, it was at that moment that Sam chooses to notice others things I didn’t saw before. The way Dean always verify his homework and always fix his dinner and never forget to that he didn’t like salt on his pasta. The way Dean never forgets to tell him to brush his teeth. The way Dean’s eyes glow with pride when Sam gets an A on an exercise. The way Dean is everything Dad isn’t.  
Seven years old. Age of wisdom they say.  
They talked about it once. Because Dean allowed it and because Dad was drunk and passed out on the couch.  
\- You’re doing all the stuffs Dad is supposed to do for us, Dean, Sam had said with a tone no seven years old should know about.  
\- I know. Dean replied quietly.  
\- Does it bother you?  
\- Yes and no.  
\- What do you mean?  
Dean knew then that, to give Sam (and himself) the peace of mind, he had to be honest, and maybe Sammy would never bring that up again.  
\- Taking care of you, I like. You’re a cool little brother even if you’re a bitch. And you’re mine anyway, mom said so. So I’m just doing what’s natural.  
\- Mom said so?  
\- Yeah, when you were born. She said “It’s your little brother” and I said “So he’s mine?” and she said “Yes”. Dean stated firmly.  
\- Oh. Ok. Sam simply said.  
\- Ok. So… taking care of you is what I do. It’s good I like it. But taking care of him…  
Dean had bit his lips then. He wasn’t sure how far he could express his feelings to Sam without having him freaking out. But Sam surprised him and finished for him:  
\- It’s not natural and you’re not supposed to do it. So you don’t like it.  
Dean swallowed a lump and murmured:  
\- Yeah.  
Sam just placed his little hand into Dean’s not so much larger one and stared at their dad on the couch.  
\--  
\- Sam is right, Miss Michael…  
\- Mitchell, the teacher corrected with a displeased frown  
\- Right, Dean replied with an easy smile, I don’t like poems, it’s for girls and anyway nothing rhymes well enough with Impala.  
Sam giggled and Dean pressed the hand he had on his neck slightly before pushing him gently towards the door.  
\- This poem is not supposed to be for his brother, Miss Mitchell said harshly, glaring at Dean while the two boys were making their exit.  
Dean turned around and fixed her with an ironic expression.  
\- Since he chose to ditch the lame theme, I think he’s entitle to choose the person he want to make his artwork for.  
Without waiting for her reply, Dean turned heels and dragged Sam out of the room with him.  
Once they were out of sight, Dean snickered.  
\- What a bitch.  
\- I know, Sam said with a sigh, we’re going to be late for Dad.  
\- Don’t worry, I’ll find an excuse.  
\- You don’t have to Dean, I can tell him the teacher asked me to stay.  
\- He’ll ask why.  
Sam bit his little lips and blinked.  
\- Don’t worry, repeated Dean hooking an arm on his brother’s shoulders.  
\- Yeah, ok… So… what do you want for father’s day?  
\- As long as it’s not a poem, we’re good.  
Sam just giggled more." 

 

**The Video:**

 

**The Meaning:**

God, it’s been a bitch to make! See, I used this new software Video Pad (When I grow up I wanna use Sony!) instead of my usual and oh-so-easy Windows Movie Maker, so please be nice, it’s like my first video all over again!  
The theme of this work is one of my favorite things about Dean: his Father-Vibe! There are a few scenes through the seven seasons of SPN, when we all noticed Dean being very fatherly instead of brotherly towards Sam, I’m a huge sucker for those moments, and I’m not ashamed! Everytime he say stuffs like “that’s my boy” or when he say “Don’t Dean me!” or when he starts lecturing Sam with that scowl on his face… gaaah just… yeah.  
Erm. So I couldn’t help myself, and I made this. Meanwhile, I’ve been meaning to post the “Father-vibe Dean request” on Supernatural Story-finders ( and share my list) so it’s a plus!  
So, this video is about Dean being the “real” Father that Sam needed growing up, instead of the drill sergeant and if-you-walk-out-that-door-don-t-you-ever-come-back John Winchester. And quite frankly after all the hints of sucky-father!John the show dropped on us, I don’t feel guilty dismissing him. Plus, I really love the idea of Dean being Sam’s father figure. He practically raised him after all and he love taking care of him even if he never said it like that.

 

**Lyrics:**

Hold me somebody  
Don't let me be alone  
Love me, stay with me  
I am dying to be known  
My heart cries out  
I need a Father  
Whose love will never fail me  
A friend like no other  
Whose trusted arms will hold me  
I need a Father  
I am wounded  
But I tuck the pain away  
Free me, heal me  
I don't want to be afraid  
My heart cries out  
Here's my heart  
Be tender, please  
Let me know your love for me  
You are my Father  
Your love will never fail me  
A friend like no other  
Your trusted arms will hold me  
You are my Father


	11. Since Fate strikes down the strong man.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because "the Epic Love Story of Sam & Dean" is also about the people who loves them, who are here to make it live. Here's a tribute to Bobby Singer.

**The Key Word:** Bobby.

**The Quote:“Dean, Sammy, meet your uncle Bobby” John Winchester.**

**The Video:**

**The Meaning:**

If you saw the last episode of SPN, I think that y’all why I made this and the meaning behind it. I ain’t gonna describe the whole thing with a long rant about how the writters better not kill Bobby. I’m just gonna say this: I love Bobby. He’s like the Impala, he cannot NOT be here with the boys and on the show. And the Boys loves Bobby too. We all love him. Here something to prove it.  
Title is an extract to “O Fortuna” of Carmina Burana. This quote is what I had in mind at the end of 7.09:  
Quod per sortem  
Sternit fortem,  
Mecum omnes plangite!  
Since Fate  
Strikes down the strong man,  
Everyone weep with me!


	12. You're this close to your place in the world.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter have a key word, a quote, a video, a making off interview, and the lyrics. you can also find the link of two arts at the end of it.

**The Key Word: Close.**

**The Quote:“You’re this close to your place in the world and you almost made it.” God to Sam & Dean Winchester.**

**The Video:**

 

 

**The Meaning:**

[ ](http://s1118.photobucket.com/albums/k619/likiellikaella/?action=view&current=artclap1.png)

LIKAELLA (LIKA): Hello Erin!  
ME: Don’t say my name.  
LIKA: Why? They don’t know your name on LJ?  
ME: Not that I know of.  
LIKA: Huh. I think your name is on your profile, let’s check?  
ME: No. Get to the interview.  
LIKA: Ok! So today, you’re posting your new video about Sam & Dean… aren’t they hot? I think they’re hot.  
ME: Lily…  
LIKA: Yeah, sorry. Let’s get started!

[](http://s1118.photobucket.com/albums/k619/likiellikaella/?action=view&current=artclap.png)   


LIKA: This new video is the first work I saw you hesitate to post. Why?  
ME: Mostly, because of the song I used. It’s “This Close” by Brad Caleb Kane. It’s a very beautiful song, but it’s also very personal to me.  
LIKA: Why is that?  
ME: The first time I ever heard this song, it was at my brother’s best friend concert. We weren’t that many in the place but the minute he started singing, it was like we were a millions, the whole world. He had a way to make you feel like his voice was only for you, but at the same time you would feel the need to share it with others. To make them cry or happy. My brother’s best friend died a year ago, and while I wasn’t as close to him as my big brother was, he was still a radiant presence in my life. “This close” stuck with me since then.  
LIKA: Why did you chose to use it now?  
ME: Well… I never used this song for anything, but you know I love SPN and I wanted to do something I could look up and say: This is my best contribution to the fandom, it’s how much I love this show, it’s my best work. It was hard to do it, but I really think I did well, maybe it’s the song, maybe it’s the right moment but I feel like my video spoke volume about Dean and Sam’s life through the seven seasons of Supernatural.  
LIKA: Speaking of… How would you describe your video to the SPN fandom?  
ME: … you’re serious?  
LIKA: Come on! Stay in the game!  
ME: *Sigh* Ok. Well… like I said it’s a large overlook at Dean and Sam’s life. And you can see glimpses of Season seven, but no actual spoilers.  
LIKA: What is the story? What did you tried to show?  
ME: I tried to show how season by season everything about the Winchester brothers is becoming slowly but surely mythic. Like Epic you know? It’s their relationship, their life, their enemies, their allies. It’s mostly their love, though.  
LIKA: “This Close” is a tribute?  
ME: Yeah… well no, maybe. Something like that.  
LIKA: You suck at this.  
ME: Shut up and go on.  
LIKA: *Snickers* Ok. What characters featured your video, except Sam and Dean?  
ME: Bobby. Castiel. Ruby, John, Mary, their youngest versions, and others hunters like Ellen and Rufus. Glimpse of others characters, angels, demons, death… and an interlude with 2014!Dean and Samifer.  
LIKA: Really? An interlude? Why?  
ME: Come on! 2014!Dean! You need to ask?  
LIKA: Yeah well…  
ME: The dude is frigging hot, I don’t know how Jensen Ackles managed to do it, but everytime I watched 5x04, it’s really two different characters that I see, even if there are both Dean. 2014!Dean is just so…  
LIKA: Yeah I get it, thanks.  
ME: Oh, that’s right, I forgot, you like Samifer better, you freak.  
LIKA: He’s wearing that white suit beautifully! and you know what? in your vid, you made it like he wants to jump Dean’s bones!  
ME: …  
LIKA: …  
ME: …  
LIKA: Are you pissed? Come on, don’t be pissed. Have a candy.  
ME: No thanks! And it wasn’t my fu**ing intention, fu*k very much!  
LIKA: *laughing* I know, but still! Anyway your video is a gen or a slash?  
ME: Oh my god, its gen! I’m not doing any wincest with this song on it! But I guess people like you are going to interpret it otherwise.  
LIKA: People like me?  
ME: Nevermind Sweetie. Are we done?  
LIKA: Just one last question: if you can describe your video with one sentence, what would it be?  
ME: The lyrics of the song, simply: “Someday you’ll need to stand tall again, stronger and they’ll be there share the pain with you […] you’re this close to your place in the world. This close and you almost made it […] this close and how long you waited.”  
LIKA: Thanks Erin. And it’s a great vid.  
ME: *smiles*

 

**Lyrics:**  
These swollen faces  
appear below  
from cold, dark places  
I'm scared to go.

They have no secrets  
they tell no lies  
they trade in weakness  
I've seen their eyes

[Bridge]  
Someday you'll need to stand  
tall again, stronger and  
they'll be there to share the pain with you  
and you know that you'll need them too

[Chorus]  
You're this close to your place in the world.  
This close, and you've almost made it.  
All the faces that you see  
smile back and point away.  
You're this close and how love you've waited.

I change direction  
I change my mind  
I've found protection  
to hide behind

But I'm tired of fighting  
'cause I've slowly found  
these wounded creatures  
they're all around

[Bridge and Chorus x2]


	13. What the hell am I doing right?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What the hell am I doing right?"

**The Key Word:** Grief

**The Quote: “Dear Lord you took so many of my people, I’m just wondering why you haven’t taken my life? Like what the hell am I doing right?” Sam & Dean Winchester.**

**The Video:**

****

**  
**

**The Meaning:**  Very simple, follow the lyrics you have the plot. John (even if he a sucky father) Mary, Bobby… so many people God took away from the boys. Sam used to pray. Dean started asking for God’s help after Sam went to detox from demon’s blood. So far, God might as well laugh at their faces. If Sam  & Dean were to pray right now, this is what I imagine them saying.

**Lyrics:**

[Chorus: Lil Wayne]

  
And I'm grinding until I'm tired  
Cause they said you ain't grinding until you tired  
So I'm grinding with my eyes wide, looking to find  
A way through the day, a life for the night  
Dear Lord you took so many of my people  
I'm just wondering why you haven't taken my life  
Like what the hell am I doing right?  
My life

 


	14. Swap our places.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam didn’t understand that saving the world by jumping in the pit would gladly kill his brother. And Dean never understood how Sam could think that without him, there was a world to live for.

 

**The Key Word:**  Devotion.

**The Drabble:  Coda 5x10.**

Dean was sitting behind Bobby’s desk. His face was a mask of stone; his green eyes seemed frozen. Sam was sitting on the chair in front of him, eyeing him with a dark expression. Ellen, Jo, Bobby and Castiel were in the kitchen. Tomorrow, they were going to kill the devil or die trying.

“We can’t trust Crowley. Maybe it’s a trap, maybe what we’re doing is exactly what Lucifer wants” Sam said with a quiet voice.

“I’m aware”, Dean replied evenly.

“And?”

“And we’re doing it anyway. Let the bastard kill me once? Shame on me. Let the bastard kill me twice? Shame on _me_.”

Dean met Sam’s cold stare with one of his own.

“This is our one shot Sammy, we gotta take it no matter what.”

Something in his brother’s tone made Sam shivered, and during a second he was able to see the other Dean, the man he hoped never encounter. The leader of an apocalyptic world. The General Winchester.

Sometimes Sam wondered if Dean was able to see the other Sam as well. The one consumed by Lucifer.

“I still think you better stay here.” Dean said after a minute of silence.

“Yeah, I got it the forty-seven time you said it, Dean. “

“Don’t be smart-ass, Sam” Dean warned, setting his glass on the desk.

“I’m not! Don’t you get it? What do you think is gonna happen if you go without me? Someone’s cutting you, I bleed!  You _have_ to let me watch you back.”

“I don’t have any problem with you watching my back, Sam! It’s your choices concerning your personal safety that screw me over!”

They glared at each other, so many words left unsaid, _I love you, I hate you, don’t go, you’re hurting me._

“ I already told you, You’ll never punish me as much as I punishing myself.” Sam finally said with too much vigor for Dean to bare it.

The older man drifted his eyes from his brother to his glass of whiskey.

He thought of Sam at six, falling silent everytime their Dad came home.

He thought of Sam at seven, afraid of swimming without Dean by his side.

He thought of Sam at fifteen, eyes burning with rage, packing his shit because Dad find a new hunt at the other side of the country and _a school play wasn’t gonna save people._

He thought of Sam at twenty three, telling him like a threat that there was nothing he wouldn’t do for him.

“If you had the choice between saving me or saving the rest of the world, Sam… what would you do?”

Sam started to open his mouth to give an obvious answer but his voice had disappeared. His eyes widened when he realized he needed to _think_ before giving his response.

The smile Dean gave him was far too cynical. And far too bitter. Sam hadn’t changed one bit, had he?

“That’s what I thought.”

The older man made his move to stand up but Sam’s voice stopped him.

“What are you the most afraid of Dean? Losing the world to the devil, or losing me?”

Their eyes met and held for a moment. Dean was the first to look away.

“That’s what I thought.” Sam murmured, repeating his brother’s words with no malice or victory. Only so much tiredness and maybe a little shame.

They sat in silence.  Tomorrow, they were going to kill the devil or die trying.

**The Video:**

****  
  


**The Meaning:**  

 

Heya fellas! So here is “Swap our places” A vid about Sam & Dean Winchester, featured with the song: “Running up that hill” by Placebo.

First of all, This vid is a gift to Verucasalt123 (here’s the link of her lj: http://verucasalt123.livejournal.com/ ) who requested a Sam/Dean vid with this particular song.

 

It was a little hard to make because “Running up that hill” is a song that got some deep and emotional meaning.  And the highest angst we had on SPN been during Season five, my favorite but also the one I watch the less.

 

The first part of the vid is Dean’s POV.  _“This is our one shot Sammy, we gotta take it no matter what”_

We’re watching Dean sacrificed everything to save the world when the only thing he want to do is give everything to save Sam. We’re watching him suffered because of Sam’s actions, but somehow matching them in his own way, because they are both humans and at that time, during season four, they were both getting darker.

 

Finally we realized that the only reason, Dean is sinking is the weight of Sam’s sufferance. Making a deal with god, or a demon isn’t going to help them run up the hill. But Dean would gladly swap their places.

 

The second part is Sam’s POV. _“You’ll never punish me as much as I punishing myself.”_  This quote is from 5x05. Strangely it’s this sentence that caught my attention during the whole dialogue. And it’s here to illustrate how (During Season three and four, since Dean’s deal) Sam was willing, not only to sacrificed but to destroy every damn thing that stand between him and saving Dean, then getting revenge for his death.

 

We’re watching him losing himself with Ruby, with the demon’s blood, with his powers. We’re watching him losing control, getting angry and fighting his brother.

But we’re also watching him doing all the wrong things for one good reason, his brother. We’re watching him loving Dean and suffering for him, for his time in hell.

Here lies the difference though: where Dean is drowning under all the harshness of their life, Sam is bursting into angry flames. But the feeling is here, Sam would also (when he’s not high on demon’s blood) swap their places.

 

The final quote is Bobby’s from 5x21: _“What exactly are you afraid of? Losing? Or losing your brother?”_   The fact that Bobby asked that to Dean is as much important as the quote itself.  It’s at this moment that we realized what he took from Dean to let Sam jump in the cage. It wouldn’t feel deader if they had lost the war against the angels.

 

After making this vid, I think that for Sam the answer would be losing because it meant losing his brother anyway. After everything he went through, detox and all, Sam jumped in the cage for Dean, because saving the world equaled saving Dean. This is where they are so different and yet so alike. Sam didn’t understand that saving the world by jumping in the pit would gladly kill his brother. And Dean never understood how Sam could think that without him, there was a world to live for.

 

**Lyrics:**

It doesn't hurt me  
Do you want to feel how it feels?  
Do you want to know that it doesn't hurt me?  
Do you want to hear about the deal that I'm making?  
You, it's you and me

And if I only could,  
I'd make a deal with god,  
And I'd get him to swap our places,  
Be running up that road,  
Be running up that hill,  
Be running up that building  
If I only could.

You don't want to hurt me,  
But see how deep the bullet lies  
Unaware that I'm tearing you asunder  
There is thunder in our hearts

Is there so much hate for the ones we love?  
Tell me, we both matter, don't we?  
You, it's you and me  
It's you and me won't be unhappy

And if I only could,  
I'd make a deal with god,  
And I'd get him to swap our places,  
Be running up that road,  
Be running up that hill,  
Be running up that building,  
Say, if I only could, oh...

You,  
It's you and me,  
It's you and me won't be unhappy

 

And if I only could,  
I'd make a deal with god,  
And I'd get him to swap our places,  
Be running up that road,  
Be running up that hill,  
Be running up that building,  
Say, if I only could, oh...


	15. Your idea of heaven: the crusts cut off my PB&J

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam will always save Dean a place at his lame thanksgiving.

 

**The Key Word:**  Heaven.

**The Quote:**

**DEAN** : C’mon! Your heaven is somebody else’s Thanksgiving. Okay. It’s bailing on your family. What do you want me to say?

**SAM** : Man, I never got the crusts cut off my PB &J. I just don’t look at family the way you do.

**DEAN** : Yeah, but I’m your family…

**SAM** : I know…

**DEAN** : I mean, we’re supposed to be a team. It’s supposed to be you and me against the world, right?

**SAM** : Dean, it is!

_Script extract from 5x16 « Dark side of the moon »_

**The Video:**

****

****

**The Meaning:**  

I think the video kind of speak for itself, doesn’t it? This is my 5x16 coda and my tribute to the “Samulet”. 5x16 is the episode I have the most trouble to watch. I must have seen all SPN episodes at least three times but I only watch “The dark side of moon” once, because it’s a painful moment for the Winchester and such a drift in their relationship.

It’s been done again and again with different point of view and fierce reactions against Sam for… erm his “heaven” and against Dean for throwing away the amulet.

Well, like I said if you wanna know what I think of this… the video speak for itself. And anyway, It been seven years that we had the proof that it’s always gonna be SamandDean and DeanandSam against the world, even when they don’t feel like it… so I’m pretty sure whatever heaven they’ll end up, Sam will save Dean a place at his lame thanksgiving.

 

**Lyrics:**

When the dream will be over  
Just try to remember  
That time is shared with me.

 


	16. A Deriva

 

**The Key word:** Brother

 

**The Quote:** **“If we are not our brother’s keeper, at least let us not be his executioner.” Marlon Brando.**

 

**The Video:**

 

 

**The Meaning:**

  
This is my first video with Sony. You wouldn’t believe the hell I went through with this crap, I suffered so much! My big brother gifted me with it at Christmas and we are at the end of January, proof enough of how hard it was for me to make this vid! So please, please be nice, I know it’s far from perfect, but now that I have my hands on the heel, it can only get better right?  

  
The idea of this is born because of the music track “Ausencia Praia” (prayer to the ocean) soundtrack of one of my favorite movie “A Deriva” and composed by the genius Antonio Pinto. I’m sure a lot of you know who Antonio Pinto is, but I know “A Deriva” isn’t that notorious, which is a shame, because it’s a very powerful movie about family, love and betrayal.  I decided to name my video after the movie.

“A Deriva” means “ Drifting” in the meaning of letting yourself fall apart. This track is a masterpiece, and I wanted for so long, to do a video about Sam & Dean with it.  I used a blue and cold ambiance almost all along the video, reminder of the sea and the melancholy but also reminder of devotion, of sacrifice.

  
The Marlon Brando’s quote it’s definitely a plus.  A Deriva is the tale of Sam & Dean’s relationship to season one from season five, and I used this quote as an introduction because I wanted to put in the light how much being “brother” is different for the Winchester that for you average sibling pair. “Brother” means caretaker, father, mother, best friend and partner. But it had also meant rage, resentment, betrayal, smothering and pain. Sam fought toes and nails for making Dean to stop being his keeper and Dean tried so hard to let Sam being an adult and not the kid he protected all his life but while doing that, they almost became each other executioner. It did take hell, demon’s blood, the apocalypse and their two deaths to realize their drifting.

  
That’s what A Deriva is about. Enjoy and tell me what you think of it, it’s like my first video all over again.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys. So, me and Likaella (my BFF) decided to post our videos here because it's just not enough to post them on youtube. when she made a vid, I give her a plot, or a word and she choose the song and I form a quote destined to Dean or Sam. She keep saying making videos is like writting fics. So... here we go.  
> At each Chapter, there will be a key word, a quote, a video, a meaning, and the lyrics.
> 
>  
> 
> All our vids can also be find on youtube: http://www.youtube.com/user/Likaella
> 
> Hope y'all enjoy, we did.
> 
> Kiss.


End file.
